“Good liturgy is a living poem, and ceremony is the key. Good ceremony makes room for all the dimensions of human experience in the hope that, together, we will discover something that transforms us. This is why I suspect that individuals can‟t create true ceremony for themselves alone. Ceremony requires that we work with others in the humbling give and take of communal existence." ~ Kathleen Norris

"Traditional Same-Sex Wedding"

Here is a nice mention in an article on a traditional same-sex wedding I performed at the Coral House in Long Island, NY http://gbmnews.com/wp/?p=168

Love and Marriage at the Greenwich Regency Hyatt

The Greenwich Regency Hyatt, Greenwich, Connecticut was the beautiful location for the marriage of two wonderful women. The staff of the hotel was extremely helpful and the couple's joy was life-affirming. Their guests and I enjoyed everything about their wedding day -- from the contemporary music played by a violin and cello to the poems and Bible readings by dear friends. Everything came together to create a meaningful, memorable celebration of true love!

Transcendent Moments in Ceremony

Nabokov says in Speak Memory: "It is certainly not then---not in dreams---but when one is wide awake, at moments of robust joy and achievement, on the highest terrace of consciousness, that mortality has a chance to peer beyond its own limits." I love crafting and delivering ceremonies that help listeners appreciate the joy and wonder of life and our connections to each other. Beyond our limits we know that we are here on planet earth together and we value each other. Indeed, it is our connections to each other that give our lives meaning. Besides our deathbed, a meaningful ceremony is one of the few times that we can come close to fully appreciating our journeys together on this beautiful earth. Live life with joy, wonder and authenticity! It is a gift.

Modern Minister? Celebrant?

I like to describe myself as a Modern Minister or Celebrant.

modern |_mäd_rn|
adjective
of or relating to the present or recent times as opposed to the remote past : the pace of modern life | modern Chinese history.
• characterized by or using the most up-to-date techniques, ideas, or equipment : they do not have modern weapons.
• [ attrib. ] denoting the form of a language that is currently used, as opposed to any earlier form : modern German.
• [ attrib. ] denoting a current or recent style or trend in art, architecture, or other cultural activity marked by a significant departure from traditional styles and values : Matisse's contribution to modern art.

minister |_min_st_r|
noun
1 (also minister of religion) a member of the clergy, esp. in Protestant churches.
• (also minister general) the superior of some religious orders.
2 (in certain countries) a head of a government department : Britain's defense minister.
• a diplomatic agent, usually ranking below an ambassador, representing a state or sovereign in a foreign country.
3 archaic a person or thing used to achieve or convey something : the Angels are ministers of the Divine Will.

The ceremonies that I co-create with couples all reflect a modern understanding of the most widely recognized contemporary, rite of passage -- marriage. A modern marriage recognizes the inherent equality of both parties and is not limited to couples of different sexes. Of course, as we noted in an earlier post, same-sex unions are not new. See Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe by John Boswell, Vintage, 1995. There are also recorded instances of same-sex unions in premodern African and other indigenous nations.


celebrant |_sel_br_nt|
noun
1 a person who performs a rite, esp. a priest at the Eucharist.
2 a person who celebrates something.
ORIGIN mid 19th cent.: from French célébrant or Latin celebrant- ‘celebrating,’ from the verb celebrare (see celebrate ).

So, as you plan your same-sex marriage, please do not feel alone. Rest assured that there are modern ministers and Celebrants who understand that your marriage reflects the love, joy and commitment that is the foundation of all happy, fulfilling marriages. When you are looking for the ideal Celebrant/Modern Minister for your ceremony, notice whether s/he takes the time to get to know you and your desires. How does this person make you feel? Would you like to hear this person's voice, amplified? A wedding ceremony is a rare occassion in our lives. Your Celebrant should appreciate the importance of the ceremony and be your sincere, representative as you celebrate the love that has changed your life.

Certified and ordained Life-Cycle Celebrants have studied marriage throughout the ages and will cherish your love story and incorporate any and all rituals that reflect your joy in the present and your hopes for your future. No cookie-cutter ceremonies!

Marriage is an Ever-Evolving Institution

One of the things that I love about Celebrant led unions is that they are built on ideas and rituals from many different cultures. Marriage is an ever-evolving institution. Historically marriages were created for economic security. Wives were considered the property of their husbands. Many marriages were arranged by parents so that their families economic interests would be protected and flourish. During the U.S. period of enslavement, captives were prohibited from marrying. In 1967 the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the 16 state laws that prohibited and punished people who married across color lines, declaring marriage a fundamental right.

Today, marriage recognizes the inherent dignity and equality of women and men across racial, religious and ethnic lines. Connecticut and Massachusetts and a few other states legally recognize same-sex unions. In the coming years, even if no other state recognizes same-sex couples unions legally, as individuals we all will probably know a same-sex couple. I offer you this section to give you some historical background about same-sex marriage rites and hopefully increase your comfort around these ideas. On their wedding day, no couple, gay or not, should not feel like they are walking onto a battlefield.

Marriage is....

In the decision making gay marriage legal in the state of Massachusetts, Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall writes,

“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return, it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations....Without question, civil marriage enhances the welfare of the community. It is a social institution of the highest importance.... Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family...Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and [a] connection that expresses our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.”

I hope that one day all loving couples, not just those in Connecticut, Massachusetts and a hand full of other states, will have the option to be married if they so choose. If you would like to experience the joy of a ceremony that is custom crafted for you, please give send me an email (Kim@OurElegantCeremony.com) or give me a call -- 718.753.1993! I would love to talk with you about your wedding ceremony that is meaningful, distinctly yours and unforgettable!